Omg, you guys. I miss you.
But shit’s been crazy lately and for that reason I have not been online much. And I feel bad about it, and like I kind of owe people an explanation (even though I know I don’t—- I’m a mom with two kids. Of course I can’t spend all my time online.) So I thought I would fill you in.

– For starters, I was letting some of the drama on here die down and disappear from my dash before I returned. Two people that I really like had a huge falling out and pretty much everyone I follow had something to say about it. And I hate it when people that I like decide that they don’t like each other. I kind of just disappear so as to not take sides. That shit sucks. 😦

– If you didn’t know, Philip has been over in the states on a training exercise since mid-august. It’s just been me and the kids and me left to handle the housework and I am exhausted. There’s not a lot of me-time at the moment. And to make it worse, he was supposed to return this week and I was so looking forward to it, but I found out today it’s going to be almost another two weeks and I had a good cry about it. The kids have stopped listening to me, pushing me to my limits, and I could use some re-enforcement up in here.

– I’m having an onslaught of health problems! I’ve recently gone off birth control because I’ve been getting cysts since being put on Nuva Ring, and I had one burst and it was unbearable. So, I’m erratic and hormonal as hell, and covered in acne, and probably will be until I find a new birth control option.

– I randomly keep losing sight in my left eye. Kind of. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s almost like there’s this random ‘blind spot’ in my eye that keeps popping up and I literally cannot see anything in that field, and everything surrounding it is kind of blurry. I’ve Google the shit out of this and can find no answers.

– I’m losing circulation in my legs when I sit down for even short periods of time. Most of my life I’ve sat on my legs (in a kneeling position) because I’m very short (needed to see over the tall kids in class, ya know) and a few months ago, they started going numb if I’d sit at the computer like that for too long, and my knees would ache something awful. So I switch up positions every several minutes. But if I stay in one for too long, even the normal sitting position with my legs over the chair, everything below my knees is still going numb. So, there’s not a whole lot of sitting at the desk for me anymore. I can’t wait to have a laptop again so I can kick back on the couch with my feet on the ottoman, it seems to be the only comfortable way that doesn’t result in a loss of circulation.

– After yelling, crying, getting frustrated/upset in any way possible, or even carrying laundry up and down the steps or getting the kids ready for school, I often am getting painful short headaches or lightheaded sensations. I’m pretty sure this one might be blood pressure? But I’m anemic so maybe that has something to do with it? I’m not sure. I just really feel like a good vacation might solve this one.

– On top of all of that, I had the flu about 2-3 weeks ago and it had me out on the couch (or by the toilet) for a little more than a week. I’m still waking up with a sore throat and congestion but it goes away by about 11/12 every day, and returns again late at night.

– I’ve rediscovered my love of books. I guess this is in part to the fact that I don’t care to jump on the computer after the kids go to bed and spend my night online anymore now with my leg issues. So instead I’ll plug in my phone and go lay in bed and read. For hours.

– In addition to that, I’ve been writing fanfiction and an original novel. Or maybe novella? Novelette? I’m not sure what length is required to qualify as one or another. I’ve been doing this almost entirely on my phone (with this really awesome app called Plain Text. Love it.) but I email the chapters to myself when I feel like getting on the computer and writing there instead. It’s going to be a long time before I share either pieces. I haven’t written anything since fall 2008. This was missed.

– And I’ve been doing a lot of marathoning on Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, or Hulu. And indulging my inner fat kid with junk food and soda as I do it. I’ve been horrible about it. In five weeks I’ve caught up on Pretty Little Liars, Sons of Anarchy, Doctor Who, and two seasons of Supernatural. I’ve also started watching the current seasons of the X-Factor and Dancing With the Stars. (Omg. What is wrong with me.)

– My house is falling apart on me. (No, seriously though.) Ethan tore his bedroom door of the hinge, broke the swinging stair baby gate I have at the top of the stairs so that they can’t sneak out of their rooms and downstairs at night. Knocked the hall closet door off it’s sliding track, and Sophia did the same to the one in her room. And! The bathtub in the upstairs bathroom is falling through my kitchen ceiling and maintenance has to assess the issue further to figure out what to do about it. Bleh.

– Most of all, I spend a majority of my time these days cleaning. It just seems like a never-ending battle anymore. I try to tackle at least two rooms a day, because it seems like while I’m doing that, the kids manage to destroy two other rooms. Well, Phia’s at school most the day. So it’s mainly Ethan. But she’s sure to get her share in when she comes home.

Dude, I’m just fucking exhausted.

Philip and I are having some kid-free time and going camping the weekend after he returns. On the beach. We’re going to have s’mores and lots of sex. Hopefully beach sex. (But with my luck there will be other campers nearby.) Either way. It’s has never been more necessary than it is right now.

How are your lives lately, tumblr folk?